Before cancer, before transplant, whenever I would go to a restaurant with our children and we would all be sitting around one big table with menus that were sometimes bigger than the kid and the waitress would ask "is there anything else I can get you?" I would say "More time." The children got so used to my response to the "is there anything else I can get you" question that they would say to the waitress "she is going to tell you "more time." More time for sure. Going to a restaurant is such a treat. I don't have to cook. I don't have to clear the table, wash, dry nor put away. The kids are busy with their crayons and restaurant supplied kid-busy supplies. I'm able to sit and be.
After transplant and I hope after cancer I read Ecclesiastes 3 again:
There is a time for everything
and a season for every activity under the heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to heat,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Perhaps my plea will change now from wanting more time to knowing what time it is. And, praying that this time is one of healing. God help me that I will be able to sit with all six of the children again around a restaurant table and the waitress will come by and ask "Is there anything else I can get you," and I will look at the children and look at her and say, "No thank you, we have everything that we need." And, I will smile. And, the children will look amazed and then go back to their coloring and tic tac toe and maze decipher and since the time is always moving, Micala may be holding her cell phone and texting and Steve's face will be sprouting more whiskers.
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly -- Buddha
9 months ago