Friday, June 4, 2010

Devotion 71, Day 29 Post Transplant

There is a big mirror here in room 619, Seattle Cancer Care Alliance House and I get to see my bag of bones full length. I'm skinny and tired. More bent over than usual. I carry a measure of post traumatic stress remembering my time with mucositis when mucus gagged me and I was tethered to suction. I could pull ropes of mucus from my mouth. The braids had had to be broken and cut with salt water to disengage. The double lumen central line is harnessed on my chest with the infection-control gel pack see-through dressing. Scissors or pins, anything sharp is the new hot stove for me. A puncture to the central line is deadly. So, I wake up on this new day and feel some weight in this world. Not a jovial self.

Then, grace happens. In this little room on this new day, I am reminded that my arms, legs, truck, neck, head, fingers and toes are not lonely. I claim membership in one body much greater than me.

So in Christ we who are many form one body, each member belongs to the others. Romans 12:5

When I flew to Seattle and walked through the airport where gobs of people are on the move, I saw so many people in all manner of dress and motion. It seemed like half the world was in the Seattle/Tacoma Airport. They all looked healthy. Inside myself I said: "These people don't have Leukemia. I do." I felt isolated and contrasted. This morning, following my view in the mirror, I gained remembrance of rejoicing in the global community. Since there is one bread, we who are many are one body for we all partake of the one bread. I Corinthians 10:17

I like being one body with Carol, Liz, Susan W., Susan R. Marianne, Kathy, Claudia, Barb, Joan, Lenard, Joel, Bonnie, Connie, Enid, Lauri, Jin, Becky, Joe, Micala, Korrina, Kayla, Joshua, Shammond, Steven, Chris, Alison, Karen, Dorothy, Ric, Chuck, Billy, Stacie, Estelle, Steve, Bob, Lee and all God's children. Your infirmity is my infirmity. Your health is mine. God gives strength and Spirit to our bags of bones with perfect love. Bring this day on Lord. I am paddling. When I walk past the mirror again, I am smiling this time.

1 comment:

  1. Coming out on the other side of something as big as you are is nothing short of awe. Every very thing you do will seem like you've never done it before, and you haven't; not in this new body, this new you. There are no reflexive, intuitive acts or decisions. Each will need to be considered as it comes. Big, big stuff.