Friday, May 28, 2010

The Little Green Pain Pump

I refused morphine and other drugs for pain through transplant. Said no to the pain pump even when the doctor said that relieving the stress in my body could promote healing. But, I found the little green button on the nurse call wand that is printed with the word "power." Press. Arnold Swarteneger is hanging upside down from the landing struts of a flying helicopter, holding on with one arm to the copter and reaching out with his other arm to rescue Jamie Lee Curtis who is wearing a little black dress and climbing out of the sun roof of an out of control limousine. The driver of the limousine has been shot and the limousine is screeching and careening from side-wall to side-wall on a bridge toward the end of the bridge which is blown out. Arnold grabs Jamie by the arm and swings her through space just as the limo dives off the blown bridge. When Arnold and Jamie have landed and hugged, we learn that Arnold's daughter is now at risk. He commandeers a jet fighter and takes off for New York. Arnold flies into a building and finds his daughter hanging onto a crane boom overlooking New York with a sinister terrorist climbing closer. Arnold flies the jet directly under the crane boom, opens the cockpit glass and tells his daughter "jump." Relieve the stress in my body? By the time this program is over I figure I've been holding my breath. Change channels. Just by surfing I've seen rape, murder, dismemberment, robbery, stabbing, neck breaking with bare hands, kidnapping, suicide, war, times plenty. I try Sponge Bob but Sponge Bob has green bodily fluids coming out by mouth and I don't want the power of suggestion. For a few days, I experimented with the little green pain pump button that says "power." Zone-out time. Press. For all the images that are sticking with me, I'm not sure I avoided the hard stuff.

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